Englische Version
Why haven't you said anything this whole time?
I knew you'd ask. You'd pretend you didn't know him! Like I was lying. As if I'm faking it.
I know you want me to keep quiet, to pretend that everything is fine.
I know you're scared. am I not? I am. I'm afraid you won't believe me. He's quite reasonable, you say. What's your problem? you say.
My problem? that I don't have a black eye or a broken rib! don't! are you laughing?
The problem is not always a black eye, a broken tooth or a bloody nose. Violence, humiliation, abuse are sometimes eye-catching. His gaze on the dropped collar of my dress. The way he looked at me when I laughed out loud at the party. It's the fear that slowly creeps into my life.
Without words, without physical contact. It is he who opens the door and I suddenly become anxious, sad, small, ....I don't know why. I'm confused in front of him. As if I'm not myself. As if I'm afraid that I'm not enough, that I'm not good, that I'm not good enough. That I am little, that I should be thinner, fatter, more beautiful, happier, more secure, wiser. The problem is what I am not and what I should be. That's the mask I put on. It can crush me without even touching me. Do you know when I stopped working?
Yes, of course. He says he supports me. By constantly accusing me of having a problem with my colleagues. Do you know that he called my boss? He told him that he knows what's going on between us! Do you know what the boss said? That he doesn't want any trouble and that he'd rather I didn't come back. What new job? Of course I tried! Do you know what he said about my new job? What did you tell the boss that you got the job?
Why didn't I say that earlier? I knew you would ask these questions.
© Urheberrecht. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.
Wir benötigen Ihre Zustimmung zum Laden der Übersetzungen
Wir nutzen einen Drittanbieter-Service, um den Inhalt der Website zu übersetzen, der möglicherweise Daten über Ihre Aktivitäten sammelt. Bitte überprüfen Sie die Details in der Datenschutzerklärung und akzeptieren Sie den Dienst, um die Übersetzungen zu sehen.